Various research has claimed that social media can adversely affect teenagers’ mental health. Some states have gone as far as to propose limiting teens’ access to social media. It is not just teenagers who develop angst about their faux friends’ Facebook posts. Theories posit that it is demoralizing to see your friends going to Italy (a recent post in my feed). Seeing your friends brag about their new house and seeing them all smiles with their family supposedly makes you feel like everyone else has a better life than you. Some experts even argue that interaction on social media is a poor substitute for in-person socializing. In that regard, social media is like the junk food of personal interaction. Instead of getting out and meeting people you stay in and sulk on Facebook.
Now some experts claim online dating apps can degrade your mental health. Nearly one-third of adults report having used dating apps, with 9% using them in the past year. The Washington Post reported on people who found dating apps to be disheartening. The Post had this to say:
Jenny O’Hara initially signed on to a dating app to bump up her confidence.
“I was looking for people to tell me: ‘You’re okay. Even though you just got divorced, you’re still marketable,’” she said, adding that she did get attention from men online. “And that made me feel better — not for a long time, but it made me feel better for a little bit of time.”
Several years ago, I had a recently divorced friend try dating apps and he claimed it was all scammers. When I dug deeper into his experience, I discovered he was flirting with women half his age, none of whom lived close enough to actually date or easily meet in person. It made him sad but perhaps his expectations were mismatched with reality. One therapist had this to say about dating apps:
“My experience with patients who are on dating apps is it leads to fatigue, that people just get exhausted,” said Paul Hokemeyer, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Telluride, Colorado. “It takes up a lot of energy. It takes up a lot of time. It takes up a lot of emotions. And there’s a huge potential for rejection.”
I do not consider anyone who is a therapist in Telluride to be representative of most people. I have been to Telluride numerous times. There is nothing normal about that tourist town. More from WaPo:
According to SSRS, Tinder is the nation’s most popular dating app. (Pew reports that some 14 percent of all U.S. adults say they’ve used it.) While Tinder was also the most popular among those 18 to 49, Match was the preferred app among those ages 50 and older, SSRS found.
But popularity doesn’t equate with only positive experiences, and some experts say online dating can generate mental health hazards.
Supposedly, people can become addicted to the dopamine rush they get from using dating apps and the reactions when someone new responds to them.
Hokemeyer said… Objectification also happens, as people are focused more on veneer than substance.
Dating apps are a type of social media that is little more than databases of single people advertising to meet other single people. I met my wife that way and we have been together more than a dozen years. Dating apps are a highly efficient method to meet people you otherwise would never meet. Social media in general allows members to keep in touch with people they may lose contact with. Furthermore, I suspect similar studies would find a devastating impact on mental health from trying to meet people in person. For example, before we met my wife joined a social club that engaged in outdoor activities. She soon quit the club due to a stalker.
The world is more connected than ever before. The Information Age has altered the way people interact with others. The positive aspects mostly outweighs the negative ones. Blaming social media for mental health problems is misdiagnosing the real problem. Whether you meet people in person in church, bars, work or online, it can be both disheartening and self-selecting. People with mental health deficits probably have a harder time maintaining relationships and spend more time on social media. That is something you cannot blame on the Internet.
Washington Post: Dating apps might be messing with your mental health